To be completely honest, this post may have been inspired because I've been listening to JCSS songs today. But seeing as I am a spiritual person (I am! Shut up!), it's also something that I think about a lot. After all, every human being has contemplated the existence of God or some sort of supreme being -watching over us lovingly or messing with us like we're toy soldiers on a huge tactical map- at some point. And I don't mean to insult anyone's beliefs. This is just my opinion.
God is a terrible parent. In all fairness, he's only had one child (besides the bajillion of people he's created of course, we're talking blood ties here) and he wasn't around much as said child was growing up, so we can't judge his (sorry, His) parenting skills based only on that. Because if you think about it, Jesus turned out pretty good, considering how everyone in his life screwed with his poor head. But God, art Thou serious? I am willing to accept that You exist, even just for argument's sake. I am willing to believe that You love me, regardless of the fact that my life pretty much sucks, or that I'm a shitty human being. But You sent YOUR ONLY SON to us only to have him crucified???
And there's this "Jesus died for our sins" premise... Yeah, I don't buy it. Isn't God, like, almighty and shit? Couldn't HE have granted us a clean slate WITHOUT having to sacrifice anyone, let alone His son who seems like a swell guy from what I've read? Why have the poor sod suffer and then die?
I'll tell you why. Because God is like my mother who uses guilt as a weapon. An extremely powerful weapon at that! "Searching through your stuff (replace with any crazy thing a mother can do) isn't a good enough reason to speak to your poor mummy like that! I gave birth to you! I was in pain for an entire day before you decided to come out of my womb!" (Insert tears.)
God wants us to feel guilty all the time. "Child, I love you, and you can do this thing if you want but, you know, Jesus died for your sins..."
Or at least, the Church wants you to believe that, because I've never met God personally and for all I know, He may be facepalming every time someone makes an assumption as to what He would want us to do. But if it is true that, one day, while He was comfortably seated on a cloud, God said "Hey! I know! I'll let a human lady give birth to my son and when he reaches the age of 33, I'll have him killed!" then, I'm sorry, but He seriously needs to start sleeping on things before He goes through with them. Especially when it comes to His kid. I bet eternity can get awkward while spending time with an offspring that you have once sentenced to death...
Jesus: Hey, Dad...
God: Yeees, my soooon?
(I imagine God's voice echoes all the time.)
Jesus: Remember when I was 33?
God: Yeeees?
Jesus: And you had a bunch of people torture and kill me?
God: Yeeees?
Jesus: Why did you do that exactly?
God: Goooo to your roooooom!
Jesus: You can't send me to my room! I'm thousands of years old, dude!
God: Goooo to your roooooom! Wait... Did you just call me "dude"?
Jesus: Yeah.
God: It doesn't sound very fitting, does it? I am God, creator of all things... I mean, seriously? "Dude"?
Jesus: Awesome way to change the subject, Dad!
God: What? A war somewhere on a planet I don't care about? Sorry, son! Gotta go!
(Or he could fall into Odinsleep. It seems to be a good way to avoid subjects you don't feel like discussing.)
Have some Drew Sarich!
God is a terrible parent. In all fairness, he's only had one child (besides the bajillion of people he's created of course, we're talking blood ties here) and he wasn't around much as said child was growing up, so we can't judge his (sorry, His) parenting skills based only on that. Because if you think about it, Jesus turned out pretty good, considering how everyone in his life screwed with his poor head. But God, art Thou serious? I am willing to accept that You exist, even just for argument's sake. I am willing to believe that You love me, regardless of the fact that my life pretty much sucks, or that I'm a shitty human being. But You sent YOUR ONLY SON to us only to have him crucified???
And there's this "Jesus died for our sins" premise... Yeah, I don't buy it. Isn't God, like, almighty and shit? Couldn't HE have granted us a clean slate WITHOUT having to sacrifice anyone, let alone His son who seems like a swell guy from what I've read? Why have the poor sod suffer and then die?
I'll tell you why. Because God is like my mother who uses guilt as a weapon. An extremely powerful weapon at that! "Searching through your stuff (replace with any crazy thing a mother can do) isn't a good enough reason to speak to your poor mummy like that! I gave birth to you! I was in pain for an entire day before you decided to come out of my womb!" (Insert tears.)
God wants us to feel guilty all the time. "Child, I love you, and you can do this thing if you want but, you know, Jesus died for your sins..."
Or at least, the Church wants you to believe that, because I've never met God personally and for all I know, He may be facepalming every time someone makes an assumption as to what He would want us to do. But if it is true that, one day, while He was comfortably seated on a cloud, God said "Hey! I know! I'll let a human lady give birth to my son and when he reaches the age of 33, I'll have him killed!" then, I'm sorry, but He seriously needs to start sleeping on things before He goes through with them. Especially when it comes to His kid. I bet eternity can get awkward while spending time with an offspring that you have once sentenced to death...
Jesus: Hey, Dad...
God: Yeees, my soooon?
(I imagine God's voice echoes all the time.)
Jesus: Remember when I was 33?
God: Yeeees?
Jesus: And you had a bunch of people torture and kill me?
God: Yeeees?
Jesus: Why did you do that exactly?
God: Goooo to your roooooom!
Jesus: You can't send me to my room! I'm thousands of years old, dude!
God: Goooo to your roooooom! Wait... Did you just call me "dude"?
Jesus: Yeah.
God: It doesn't sound very fitting, does it? I am God, creator of all things... I mean, seriously? "Dude"?
Jesus: Awesome way to change the subject, Dad!
God: What? A war somewhere on a planet I don't care about? Sorry, son! Gotta go!
(Or he could fall into Odinsleep. It seems to be a good way to avoid subjects you don't feel like discussing.)
Have some Drew Sarich!
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