Lack of sleep

Once again, I can't sleep. I tossed and I turned and my boyfriend kept gritting his teeth in his sleep and that didn't help at all! So, since there's no one here to talk to, what else could I do but write a completely pointless -and maybe slightly annoying- blog entry? Yay for you and me as well! Yay for all of us! (Are you beginning to understand just how pointless this is? Hmm?)

Why can't I sleep, you ask? Because of various reasons. Which I will explain. Yes, I will. But first, let me show you this fanvid I made!

                                                                                                                                                               

(Loki/Tom Hiddleston may be partially to blame for my lack of sleep. Partially. Because sometimes, when I close my eyes, his grin pops up into my head and it makes my veins tingle and my heart beat faster and who could sleep while feeling so excited?)

Now, where was I? Oh, yes! The reasons! I'll tell you all about the reasons. First of all, know that I love sleeping. Seriously, if it was possible to sleep for a whole week, I would do it. That's how much I love it. But you see, I have a brain which never rests. NEVER. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my brain starts whispering to me about things I've done in the past, embarassing or mean, it doesn't matter. My brain whispers and drives sleep away. Then, my stomach starts aching and I end up looking at the ceiling, sighing as my eyes refuse to shut. You can't imagine how frustrating that is, needing to rest but being unable to! In case you can imagine or actually know what that feels like, well, doesn't it suck???

When I was younger, I used to make up stories about myself or imaginary people when I went to bed, so I could relax and have nice dreams. And it used to work. But now? Pffft! The story evolves and I have to follow it, see where it will lead. Sometimes, it even takes months to reach an end to one story and then, I just begin another! Because no matter how much I need to sleep, the need to create a story is stronger than anything. 

One more thing that can successfully keep me up is noise. In general, I enjoy noise, cars speeding by, dogs barking... Noise is a sign of life, noise is good. But there are certain noises which aren't as comforting. Like, someone trying to pick a lock. The lock of my door. There's no one there, of course. No one is trying to get inside my house but BAM! I'm wide awake and if my ears could stretch, they would be doing that very thing. There's no one there, there's no one there, there's no one there...

And the teeth gritting my boyfriend does EVERY FUCKING NIGHT is killing meeeee! (I get crazy when it comes to teeth because I like mine so much. It's not that they're special or anything. I just like them and want to keep them intact forever.) But seriously, you guys! It's like he's chewing rocks! Next to my ear! It's unbearable! And it makes me want to smack him right in the face! He doesn't deserve to be smacked, of course, so what do I do? I get up, go to the kitchen, drink some water and OH MY GOD I CAN STILL HEAR THAT HORRIBLE SOUND!!! How does he even do that??? I can still hear it from here, at the other side of the house! I swear, if he wasn't so perfect, I would be using my pillow to suffocate him right now...

There are also times when I can't sleep for no apparent reason at all. My brain decides to black out and there's no Loki and no story and no guilt and no burglar. But I can't do it. I can't sleep. I just lie there, blinking. And blinking. Aaaaand blinking. Still blinking. The sun rises, a new day begins. Fuck this shit! I'm going to make some coffee!

Have a nice day! :)