Human Nature: Death

What separates us, humans, from the animals (without it meaning that we are better than them, in ANY way) isn’t the ability to speak. (I, personally, believe that some people might be better off barking anyway; when they open their mouth, I’m filled with such fear of what may come out, it’s tiresome.) We may think ourselves superior to any other living thing for various reasons but what really distinguishes from them, is one of our greatest flaws: our understanding of death. I have never seen a bird or a lizard, contemplate about its own mortality. What use would it be to them really? Aren’t they happy in their ignorance? And why shouldn’t we be just as fortunate?

Do you ever stop and think that every single thing you do in your life, is nothing but an effort to defeat death? Your entire existence is governed by the instinct of survival. Breathing, eating, having sex, working... Everything. Now, isn’t that simply depressing? Wouldn’t you rather be a dolphin? I would rather be a dolphin because, a)they live in the sea (How awesome is that?), b) they are very, very clever and c) their sexual behaviour is very similar to that of humans. Yeah, dolphins are great.

When I wonder why I am so obsessed with becoming a writer, death comes to mind. You see, despite my obvious superiority to other people(I dare you to argue with that. I dare you!), I am quite as normal and plain as everybody else. I would love to live forever but being aware of human nature which, sadly, provides us all with an expiration date, I can’t. Succeeding in having my work published would mean, I have made my mark in this world, thus providing myself a tiny slice of immortality. I am not deluded enough to believe I could go down in history, alongside Shakespeare, Plath and many others as talented as them. But it would be nice.

Another, very popular, way of making sure you will live on, is having kids! And making them is quite fun too! And I sincerely believe this to be the ONLY reason people decide to have children. So that they can leave a trace of their genes behind. I don’t deny love is involved, as well. I can almost see a brain cell or two, screaming at me to “go forth and multiply”, though. Because otherwise, kids and me? Nah... I much prefer the company of my lovely cat. Sometimes I dream about having ONE child, when I’m older. But then I feel bad about it. It would be an ugly little sod and if he or she, actually took after me, I would be in a world of pain!

Other than a few terminally ill or seriously depressed people, I haven’t heard of anyone wanting to die. I doubt my grandmother sat in her armchair that fateful morning, took a bite of her cookie and thought “Why don’t I just die? Like, right now?”. And I don’t have a deathwish either. Do you? It would be safe to say that death, as a notion doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. What I’m terrified of is dying alone. What if, seconds before you die, you realise it’s happening and when you look around, there is no one to hold your hand? Or give you a sympathetic look? Not even that really. Someone just, being in the background, watching tv, would suffice!

But to be completely honest with you, even that doesn’t rank so high on my list of horrible things that could happen. I think that, being human, I may become so absorbed in my very natural (although mild) fear of dying that I will somehow, forget to live.

“Thanatos: Those who could afford to buy a late death would buy it then.

Apollon: I see. Are you determined not to do this for me?

Thanatos: I will not do it. And you know my character.

Apollon: I know it: hateful to mankind, loathed by the gods.

Thanatos: You cannot always have your way where you should not.”

Euripides, Alcestis 19 ff (trans. Vellacott) (Greek tragedy C5th B.C.)