What happens when you shoot a person you love

Let’s assume you love someone. You love them so much that you would sacrifice anything to make sure they’re ok. To help them get out of a situation where, oh I don’t know, they’re blind and locked in a place that’s about to blow up and they could get out of there, if only they could see the code which will unlock the door, and the code is right there, they could see it if they weren’t blind but they’re blind and it’s impossible for them to punch in the damn code. Let’s say you love that person -not madly, just enough to ask some weird, creepy looking monks for help and they’d gladly help you, for a price. What price is that? You don’t know, it could be anything at all, anything goes. But it doesn’t matter because you love that person and you want them to live. So you take the monks’ offer.

That person must mean a lot to you. I mean, you’ve just doomed the entire human race to live in a world where there’s no free will, where their thoughts and memories are being invaded and controlled 24/7, and those who can still somehow see the truth are taken away by the Memory Police. This must be a great burden to live with. But at least you know, you know that person is alive and well, and they will find a way to save everyone. This must be the case, you think as you try to remain in control of your own memories which are also being invaded.

And after six months of this whole ordeal, you manage to find that person, who you thought was being held hostage by the terrible monks, and you try to break him out of his prison but, who would have thought, he doesn’t want to leave. He tells you what the monks have been doing is a mercy, the human race isn’t worth much more than this, they were going downhill anyway and you should be glad the monks are around. You counted on him to save everyone. You only made the deal with the monks for his sake. You’ve put up with so much those six months and now he’s saying you deserve it.

This must be one of the worst moments of your life. Standing before you is someone you don’t recognize. He can’t be the one you tried to save six months ago- that person wouldn’t give up just like that, he wouldn’t be saying you should keep your head down and obey the dictators. And yet, that’s exactly what he’s saying. That’s exactly what he believes. So, technically, he’s not the same person you saved six months ago. Except he’s wearing the same face, looking at you with the same eyes, speaking with the same voice but he’s not an impostor or a clone. He’s working with the monks. He agrees with them.

Seeing as you love that person, grabbing a gun and pointing it to him mustn’t be an easy choice to make. You gambled with the planet for his sake. You struggled against your own brain for his sake. You’ve been alone and miserable for months for his sake. But he has just betrayed you. He’s about to hand you over to the monks. This decision of his isn’t only a betrayal of your relationship with him; it also means that humans are condemned to live like this forever.

And you love him, of course you do, you’ve risked your life to get to him, you’ve risked everything to save him because he’s important, not only to the entire universe but to you as well, he’s so important to you, you love him, you love him but he’s broken your heart and he’s going to stand against you if you try to save your fellow humans again, so you, a good person who’s never harmed anyone, who only wanted to help- you shoot him. You’ve never shot anyone before, you’re not a murderer but your hands are steady and you should three or four times. At that moment, you intend to kill him, not scare him. He falls to the floor and clutches his chest. You’re about to watch him die and you’re sorry but what choice did you have?

And you know you’re never going to be the same again. He’s forced you to do this, kill someone and not in self-defense. You probably thought, as you aimed at him, that he was going to change his mind and help you, but he didn’t. In mere seconds, you made up your mind that this person whom you loved had to die. You made up your mind and executed the action. You took a life. It’s not enough that you are responsible for the death of someone you considered your friend, you are now also a murderer. Could this be the worst moment of your entire life? Will this be the moment in your life you will always regret, hoping things could have somehow gone differently?

You’re still shaking when he gets up. You’re crying when he gets up and says “Good girl!” wearing the broadest of smiles. He explains how this was all a test and it’s ok, it’s really ok, he’s fine, see, no problem whatsoever. He and his team laugh. Everything’s fine. He hasn’t joined the monks, he’s still on your side and everything is going to be just great. Except all those things that went through your mind earlier, the heartache you felt, the terrible choice you had to make, your steady hands that shot the gun, they were all very real. Your heart is still racing, you’re still shaking for heaven’s sake. Can you laugh it off as well? Can you treat it as though it was no more than a prank and continue without ever even mentioning it again?

In a universe where actions don’t have consequences due to jokes-pranks/time travel/resetting the universe/etc., are the thought processes that led you to those actions of any importance? Do the decisions you make have any impact on you or your environment? Can you really trust a manic, 1000-year old frat boy, to be in charge of anything? And, in conclusion, how much longer will we have to put up with such poor writing?