Seeing as I have trouble saying it, I am perhaps the right person to explain why "no" is so important. You see, in the mind of one who is so eager, so desperate to please others, saying no is a terrible thing to do. What if someone is offended by it? What if it makes them sad? But the thing is, you can't say yes to everything. Even if you do, somehow, manage it, there will still be people who won't be pleased. Because you can't please everyone. And that's fine.
Sometimes, not being able to say no isn't a big deal. Like in the case of "there's parsley in this food and parsley is an insult to my taste buds, I fucking hate parsley but you cooked it and you want me to eat it, so what the hell, I'll give it a shot". Harmless. Or "I really don't feel like going out today but it's your day off and you are so excited, sure, let's go out". Equally harmless. In the same way, insisting that someone goes out with you when they've stated they don't feel like it, or making them put food in their mouths because you're certain they'll suddenly like an ingredient they hate, isn't all that horrible. Maybe you're a bit pushy but not horrible. You know what is horrible though? When a woman tells you she doesn't want to have sex with you and you're being a colossal douche by thinking she's only teasing and challenging you. You don't need to actually touch her for me to categorise you as an imbecile. And a creep. Just by persisting and asking her why and believing that she will change her mind if you are bold enough, you have crossed the line.
What's even worse though -and I can't fucking stress that enough- is when that woman is your girlfriend. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you'll get sex whenever you want. I'm sorry but that's the way it works. Women have the right to say "you're not getting any" to anyone, including their boyfriends/husbands/whatever. Loving you doesn't mean I'm always in the mood for hanky-panky. Loving me doesn't mean you're entitled to a constant, never-ending supply of sexual activity! End of story.
It's true that, quite often, we tease in order to increase desire. But the signs of teasing are clear as day. You must be an idiot in order to confuse dismay for teasing. You must be an even bigger idiot to keep going when you can tell that the other person isn't interested. It doesn't make you come off as strong and attractive. It makes me want to punch you in the face. Or run away. Or both.
No means no. And if I say it, you have to respect it.
2 claims:
Huh! Somebody is not getting any today. I once read somewhere that the only power a woman has towards a man is the power of refusing to have sex with him. She may be stronger, she may be not, she may be smarter, she may be not. But the power of choosing is nonnegotiable.
@Μικρός Μπετόβεν
At least it should be non negotiable.
As for the "only power" part, I'd like to think it isn't. Then again, why should we have to compare and search for things that make one gender more powerful than the other? Is this a war? Can't we just get along? Questions, questions...
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