Afterwards

Welcome back for another round of Fun Times with Lu! Today, we'll be examining the entertaining subject of the afterlife. Is it real? Is it a myth? Who cares? Many people apparently. Let's begin!

Feel Afraid

I haven't thought about the afterlife in a while. But I used to, in the past. A lot. Like, a lot. Just as it was about to become an obsession, I decided to quit and I've successfully stayed away from the subject for a few years. Imagine my surprise when, in the middle of enjoying a slice of bread with peanut butter (mmmm peanut butter), a little bubble went *pop* inside my head and I started thinking about it again. I have no idea why I believe it would be a good topic to write about. If it is, yay. If it isn't, don't judge me. I don't believe I have the answer to the question of what comes after death. It would be vain to think so. But as a person who likes to ponder on subjects linked to human nature, I find this interesting.

Theory 1 - Nothing

What happens: First, you die. Then, nothing. End credits. Black. No consciousness. Nada.

The most likely to be true. Perhaps the most unsettling. Because who wants to die and stop existing at the same time? No one. Sure, it may not be the most comforting of theories but it has its advantages. First of all, peace and quiet. Which is something most people are short of while they're alive. (This doesn't mean we should all start dying as soon as possible because there's no other way to find peace. Don't twist my words!) Another good thing about nothingness is that what you do now, today, tomorrow, while you live and breathe, is what matters. There's no ulterior motive. You're not being nice because you hope to earn a seat on a fluffy cloud someday. You do what you do because it's important NOW, it's your one chance and you'd better grab it. I'm not sure I believe in it but I don't find it awful. I actually think it's kinda nice. Well... As nice as things related to death can be... The obvious drawback? You don't exist anymore. It's not that bad, is it? I mean, it's not like you'll care.

Theory 2 - Heaven and Hell

What happens: First, you die. Then, an old man with a long white beard and absolutely no fashion sense, and another man with horns and great taste in suits, decide whether you get to enjoy an eternity of bliss prancing around the garden of Eden, or an eternity of being tortured in the most creative ways imaginable.

What is the advantage of that theory? Justice maybe. Getting what you deserve, whether good or bad. Being able to watch over the people you love. Forget about earthly pleasures, this is the bomb! (No, it isn't.) 

Disadvantage: the constant fear of being watched and judged for your every move, every word, every thought. This kind of fear was part of my life for a long long time. I didn't like it. I still don't. It's invasive and creepy and the deity doing the monitoring is not benevolent at all. The standards are too high. The prize may not be what you expected. At some point, you have to ask yourself, is it worth the trouble? Maybe it is. I don't know, I'm not an expert!

The slightly different Egyptian version of this, isn't much better. Have your heart/soul weighed and if it's lighter than a feather, you win. If it isn't, Ammit eats you and you're very very sad. Not sad, technically, because he eats you. But the moments before you're eaten must be sad, I think.

Whose soul is lighter than a feather? Let's be reasonable here. If there really is a Heaven, very few of us are going to make the cut. Based on what I've heard, it's really difficult to get into that place. I wouldn't stand a chance. Besides, if it's true that animals are denied entry to those realms, you can rule me out right now. Thanks but no, thanks.

Theory 3 - Reincarnation

What happens: First, you die. Then, you are born again. Later, you die again. You are born again and so on. You possess the same soul, it just happens to jump from one frame to another.

This theory is my favourite. I don't believe in it either but I sure as hell like it. This concept of recycling is fascinating! You can go on forever, never really expire, meet and love new people or find the ones you loved before, experience as much as you can, different things, the past, the future! You can fail in different ways, you can do the things you've done before but better, yes! Let me read different books, let me be varied, be boring, be exciting, never stop being! But at what point does it become exhausting? Does it ever?

The downside to this is that, from what I gather, the process is a bit tricky. You can be a king and before you know it, poof, it's all gone, start from scratch. Wanna be a king again? Maybe in another life. "But but..." No. Because karma comes into play. Which triggers the system of rewards again and this, I think, is very limiting for an otherwise generally promising concept.

Also, the whole reincarnation thing is supposed to actually be a trap. It's supposed to bore the soul to oblivion, make it realise that earthly pleasures are not important and decide to move on to the spiritual plain. I guess it depends on how much you appreciate earthly pleasures. And I do. A whole lot. The spiritual realm is also important but I can't really pick one. Can I have both? I want both. I want everything. (And this is why I'm going to hell.)

(Τι μας λες.)

[Those are the main theories. I'm sure there are more but it's early in the morning and I haven't slept (again) so I apologise if I forgot a really major theory, I thought the basic ones would suffice and I'm running out of clever things to say anyway, so bite me! (No, don't.)]

Nobody really knows what happens when we die. We will probably never know for sure. But speculating is interesting and whatever you choose to believe in, concerning our ends, is fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night, guys. No judgement. The important thing is to remember that no matter what awaits us afterwards, we must make the most of today. The afterlife is a fun place only if you haven't missed out on life to begin with.