-"Loneliness is viewed in three important ways: 1. it results from inadequate levels of social relationships, 2. it is a subjective experience and 3. it is an unpleasant feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. It has also been described as social pain - a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of undesired isolation and motivate her/him to seek social connection." (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness)
-"Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation; i.e., lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, infectious disease, mental disorders, or circumstances of employment or situation." (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solitude)
I was under the impression that loneliness was considered "bad", whereas solitude, wasn't, simply because solitude is a matter of choice. It seems that both are equally bad. Well... No. Not equally bad. Because recent studies show that you can actually be infected by loneliness. That's right! According to new research from Harvard, the University of Chicago and the University of California-San Diego, loneliness is contagious and it can be spread around like a virus! (source: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/loneliness-is-a-social-disease-study-finds/article1384848/)
The main point of the study is that by being lonely, you behave badly and you affect the people around you and they, in turn, spread it around to the people around them and so on and so on... It's not enough that you already feel like crap because, let's face it, you need to be around people but you can't because you're either a social retard or you've been so hurt that you don't trust others anymore! They have to make you feel even worse for making others as miserable as you are! May I add another reason for loneliness and/or solitude? People making you feel guilty about everything that happens on this planet.
Ok, I'll be fair. The same article states that "today's culture is particularly vulnerable to loneliness because we are postponing family, divorcing more often and living longer." Let's see... I want to apologise to my friends and family for daring to live longer. I'm sorry, really! I didn't mean it! And postponing family... Of course I will postpone it! I don't even have a job! Don't kids need to eat? Or do they feed off the happiness of a mother that isn't lonely?
I'll admit that feeling lonely can be a disease. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that it can't cause very, very serious problems. But I'm tired of reading studies concerning society's problems in a way that's too simplistic to fit the way the human brain and psychology works! You can't put people in a box and label them according to behavioural patterns. I'm sorry but I'm far too complicated than that!
So, here's my choice: solitude. "Solitude is different from loneliness because it comes in picture because of internal effect and desire. Saints who prefer silence, find immense pleasure in their uniformity with cosmos even in single room.The context of solitude is attainment of pleasure from within, than seeking it outside or in crowd." I'm not a saint, I'm not Buddha but I find it much more pleasing to be alone with a good book than trying to interract with people who believe I am dysfunctional simply because I have no interest in being nice to them for the sake of just being nice or because I have no intention of starting a family any time soon.
Ode on Solitude by Alexander Pope
Happy the man, whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound,
Content to breathe his native air,
In his own ground.
Whose heards with milk, whose fields with bread,
Whose flocks supply him with attire,
Whose trees in summer yield him shade,
In winter fire.
Blest! who can unconcern'dly find
Hours, days, and years slide soft away,
In health of body, peace of mind,
Quiet by day,
Sound sleep by night; study and ease
Together mix'd; sweet recreation,
And innocence, which most does please,
With meditation.
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me dye;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lye.
2 claims:
Well, solitude is a phase (at least for men, I gather), loneliness is an emotion, it's what you feel when the solitude phase must end. I have lived in solitude for about three years in the past. I chose to do so because my mental state was harming people I was close to. During those years, I was most creative, totally peacefull, almost carefree, had a grat time with myself (didn't expect that! ) and managed to get better. Solitude was good for me, then. When I fully recovered, I started feeling lonely and realized that solitude was not good for me anymore. So I starting getting close to people again.
What I mean is that solitude and loneliness are neither good or bad. They are useful. In solitude, one may get himself together and through loneliness, one can get out of solitude.
And yes, loneliness is contageous, and that's another reason why people should deal with it as soon as possible by finding someone they can talk to. It may sound difficult but it really isn't. All it takes is honesty from both sides.
So, are you enjoying your solitude as much as I did? Is it useful for you?
Sorry it took so long to respond, dear Εφτά! I've been so busy I could hardly breathe! And am enjoying my solitude quite a lot, thanks. :) As to whether it's useful, so far, so good, I say.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I hope you'll find your way back here again, where you are always welcome!
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