You guys, seriously... Part 2

You know I tell it like it is. So... I won't say I was extremely disappointed with "Breaking Dawn: Part 1" but that's mainly, because I knew better than to have actual expectations. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. I can only describe it as a very long episode of a soap opera and let's face it! That's as good as it gets!

Okay, I gasped at Kristen Stewart's smile. I really can't believe they let her smile in this movie! And about time too. You can't expect the viewers to always imagine what the girl must be feeling! That doesn't mean her usual awkward expression ever really left us but let's take it one step at a time. Maybe she'll surprise us in the final movie.

Besides the main (three) characters, everybody else were clearly used as extras. Jackson Rathbone had like... what? Two lines? Come on, people! Give the other characters some screen time! I can't take anymore of Jacob's whining... Let me see what the others can do! Also, when you add fight scenes, you'd better give them some edge. Werewolves chasing vampires around and then just, making friends??? Booooooring!!!!!

Now on to the sex. Children, cover your eyes! There is absolutely nothing to see there! Yes, a little bit of movement and then... Use your imagination, viewers! 'Cause that's all you're gonna get! We wouldn't want to make this movie 18+, would we? We'd lose money if we did! Teenagers, don't get the wrong idea about sex. It doesn't usually last so little and if it does leave you with bruises all over your body, somebody did something wrong. (Unless you like it this way, in which case, who am I to argue?)

Buuuuuut... And this is a big, big but... I do love Robert Pattinson. I know I'm well past the age of infatuations, I'm sorry, I can't control myself when it comes to this boy! I love his thick eyebrows, I love the small glimpse of his beautiful shoulders when he's breaking the bed, I love his voice, I love his nose!!! I believe that with the right coaching, he can be a very good actor. His acting seems to have improved in this movie but he can really do better. A suggestion for the next movie: more Pattinson nudity! That would improve the movie on sooooo many levels! And let him do another song for the soundtrack. Less angsty teen songs! Please!

And... Renesmee? How much do you hate your poor child, Bella? Is this the best you can do? She'd be better off with Kitty or even, Bob, for that matter!

The movie was baaad! It went on for less than two hours and to me it seemed like three had passed. I don't know whose fault it was but he or she'd better be fired soon. Very soon. Or shot. Just saying...

Robert Pattinson. *sigh*
If it wasn't for him, I would have stopped at the first movie.

You guys, seriously...

Maybe you have someone close to you who is infected by Twilight-mania. Maybe you don't. Either way, you may have heard about "Breaking Dawn: Part 1" coming soon, to a theatre near you. People, more specifically, teenagers, are getting excited and sometimes hyperventilating from anticipation.
I intend to go and see the movie, but only if my boyfriend agrees to come with me. Wearing his "Buffy staked Edward" t-shirt. I will admit that I, too, fell victim of the whole Twilight hysteria when it was only just beginning. However, being a logical creature, I knew from the start what it was that caused my addiction. It was Robert Pattinson. I blame him for everything! Had it been someone else instead of him, I wouldn't have bothered reading the books or seeing the films. Now I'm glad that I did, because I have formed my own opinion and I can share it with the world! (The world being anyone who may read my blog.)

Let me tell you right now, I have no intention of judging Meyer's style. It appeals to people so that means she's doing something right. Writing books for teenagers isn't a bad thing. When I first started reading (I was about 5) I didn't choose Nietzsche to begin my journey into literature. You start by reading something light and then you proceed to the heavy stuff. True, by the time I was in highschool I had moved to poetry but sometimes it's good to read something less "demanding".

There is, however, a great flaw in Breaking Dawn. I'm sorry but I have to point it out. In most of the book, you are watching your beloved characters prepare for a great battle and you keep smirking because, damn it, I don't care how hot Michael Sheen looks as a vampire, the Volturi are evil and they need to get their asses kicked! So, what does Meyer do? She keeps talking about tactics and how dangerous this is and how the good vampires may all die and she spends too many pages on that, when she finally discovers she will have to kill one of the characters if the battle actually takes place! We can't have that, can we? What can we do instead? Hmmm....

Wait! I know! The crisis will magically go away! Yes, that sounds awesome! Except... No, it doesn't. If one thing could have saved that book... Bloodshed and ass-kicking, would be it. End of story. On the other hand, Bella actually dying could also do the trick.

The movies were all a great disappointment. With the exception of Robert Pattinson, I liked nothing in those movies. Not a thing. Hate me all you want. That Kristen Stewart fails me every time. She looks out of place, her ears pop out even behind the moss that is supposed to be her hair and she seems to be choking a whole lot. A smile on her face is indeed a rare sight and she has all the charm of a dung beetle.

Let's see what this movie has to offer. But I seriously doubt there'll be any surprises. Thank God for Pattinson (mind you, he looks a bit weird in the trailer....)!