Solitude and loneliness

-"Loneliness is viewed in three important ways: 1. it results from inadequate levels of social relationships, 2. it is a subjective experience and 3. it is an unpleasant feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. It has also been described as social pain - a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of undesired isolation and motivate her/him to seek social connection." (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness)

-"Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation; i.e., lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, infectious disease, mental disorders, or circumstances of employment or situation." (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solitude)

I was under the impression that loneliness was considered "bad", whereas solitude, wasn't, simply because solitude is a matter of choice. It seems that both are equally bad. Well... No. Not equally bad. Because recent studies show that you can actually be infected by loneliness. That's right! According to new research from Harvard, the University of Chicago and the University of California-San Diego, loneliness is contagious and it can be spread around like a virus! (source: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/loneliness-is-a-social-disease-study-finds/article1384848/)

The main point of the study is that by being lonely, you behave badly and you affect the people around you and they, in turn, spread it around to the people around them and so on and so on... It's not enough that you already feel like crap because, let's face it, you need to be around people but you can't because you're either a social retard or you've been so hurt that you don't trust others anymore! They have to make you feel even worse for making others as miserable as you are! May I add another reason for loneliness and/or solitude? People making you feel guilty about everything that happens on this planet.

Ok, I'll be fair. The same article states that "today's culture is particularly vulnerable to loneliness because we are postponing family, divorcing more often and living longer." Let's see... I want to apologise to my friends and family for daring to live longer. I'm sorry, really! I didn't mean it! And postponing family... Of course I will postpone it! I don't even have a job! Don't kids need to eat? Or do they feed off the happiness of a mother that isn't lonely?

I'll admit that feeling lonely can be a disease. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that it can't cause very, very serious problems. But I'm tired of reading studies concerning society's problems in a way that's too simplistic to fit the way the human brain and psychology works! You can't put people in a box and label them according to behavioural patterns. I'm sorry but I'm far too complicated than that!

So, here's my choice: solitude. "Solitude is different from loneliness because it comes in picture because of internal effect and desire. Saints who prefer silence, find immense pleasure in their uniformity with cosmos even in single room.The context of solitude is attainment of pleasure from within, than seeking it outside or in crowd." I'm not a saint, I'm not Buddha but I find it much more pleasing to be alone with a good book than trying to interract with people who believe I am dysfunctional simply because I have no interest in being nice to them for the sake of just being nice or because I have no intention of starting a family any time soon.

Ode on Solitude by Alexander Pope
Happy the man, whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound,
Content to breathe his native air,
In his own ground.

Whose heards with milk, whose fields with bread,
Whose flocks supply him with attire,
Whose trees in summer yield him shade,
In winter fire.

Blest! who can unconcern'dly find
Hours, days, and years slide soft away,
In health of body, peace of mind,
Quiet by day,

Sound sleep by night; study and ease
Together mix'd; sweet recreation,
And innocence, which most does please,
With meditation.

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me dye;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lye.

"Or else, they'll take me to Sea World"

I don't know what you've heard about this film. I don't care if someone told you it was a waste of time! After all, everyone's entitled to their opinion. But I only have one answer for those that insist it's bad: bite me! Yeah, that's right! "Buried" is one of the best movies I've ever seen!

First of all, Ryan Reynolds. I'm just so glad he's evolved past "Van Wilder" and other boring comedies! He can obviously do much better. Given the limited space he was given in the film, he did a very good job, even though his character didn't really have a "character" -he was simply a man trying to survive.

The direction of Rodrigo Cortes was more than adequate. Of course, I have no actual knowledge on directing a movie so I can't get very technical but it looked good! :P
The claustrophobic environment, the lack of light, the intense music... I think I have to say that I was fascinated.

The plot goes like this: Paul Conroy wakes up to find he's been buried alive with no way of escaping. He only has a few items in the coffin with him and one of them is a cell phone. He has to find someone to help him. Fast.

I won't let you know what happens, of course. No spoilers here. Go see the movie. And enjoy! :)

Feeling like poetry today...

Edwin Arlington Robinson - Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town, 

We people on the pavement looked at him: 

He was a gentleman from sole to crown, 

Clean favored, and imperially slim. 

And he was always quietly arrayed, 

And he was always human when he talked; 

But still he fluttered pulses when he said, 

"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked. 

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—

And admirably schooled in every grace: 

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place. 

So on we worked, and waited for the light, 

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; 

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, 

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Back after a looong time!

I got depressed. I got better. I got depressed again. I thought I was going to get better once more. I waited... Didn't happen. I figured I have to learn to live with that. The funny thing is life IS wonderful and beautiful and all that crap but life can also be a bitch. Deal with it. Or not. My glass will always be half empty. Notice how you won't like me less because of that! :P
(Surprise, surprise! The smileys stay, no matter what!)

What have I been up to? Well, I'm glad you ask! To begin with, I got writer's block (I'm telling you, I'll be shocked if I ever finish that novel...), met up with an old friend, read "The Island" by V. Hislop, saw "Eclipse", read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Jane Austen (well, duh!) and Seth Grahame-Smith, saw "Inception", read a couple of other books and currently going through "exam season". Life couldn't be any better! Yay!

How much do you NOT care?

I am very depressed

This will be short....

I'm against Matt Smith, okay? I'm sorry if people disagree but I just don't see it. Call me prejudiced; I probably am. I mean, after Tennant's last line ("I don't want to go!") it was pretty much obvious to me that I wouldn't be able to cope with the loss. And then comes Matt Smith, pulling his hair and screaming "I'm a girl!" and I couldn't help but think "You sure sound like one"...

My (our) new Doctor

As we reach the end of an era (if you'll allow the expression) I feel a bit gloomy... I admit I haven't watched any of the old Doctors in action -yet- and I bow my head in shame. But I've been really hooked up on the show ever since I saw the first episode, starring Chris Eccleston who was FANTASTIC! He looked great when he got mad and personally, I liked that he seemed so willing to exterminate the Daleks but in the end decided not to.

Now, when he started saying goodbye to Billie Piper, I think I let a tear drop. Then, David Tennant shows up and I'm determined to keep my frown as I realise that with every episode he's growing on me... I thought that was weird, for who could replace Eccleston in my heart?

Of course, he didn't replace him but I couldn't help but love Tennant eventually. He brought his own flavor to the show. Tennant's Doctor was arrogant in a more obvious way and you couldn't even dislike him for that attitude! And as all the characters we've loved in the past, I foolishly convinced myself that he would stay forever. By forever I mean, until the day he died. I knew that wouldn't really happen, obviously! But was there any harm in hoping?

Apparently, there was. Because after three years, someone else is coming to claim the Doctor's crown. Someone I can't say I like. I don't hate him either but there is something about him that makes me go "meh" every time. Yes, I wasn't pleased with Tennant at first either but it's not the same feeling. With Tennant, it was "Your puppy eyes can't fool me! You'll never take Eccleston's place! Or will you?". Now, Matt Smith... With him it's more like "Ewww! Get away from me! Away, I said!"


Maybe I'm too old to change my habits. Maybe I'm just a bitchy bitch. (I won't deny that.) Should I give him a chance to prove his innocence? I will. But I doubt he'll ever win me like the previous two did. I'm giving him a chance because that's how good I am. :P
He'll have to work hard though, if he wants to be our new Doctor. And by "our" I mean all of us. Not just the ones who already like him!

As I've said before and will now say again, I'll do my best to like him but can he please, please, please lose the bow tie? Somebody said they liked it. "Gimme a Doctor that doesn't HAVE to be fashion conscious!" were the exact words. None of them were ever fashion conscious! (I distinctly remember a disgusting, looooong scarf and a vegetable!) Not one of them! But they did it in style.

So, Matt... Make me like you. I dare you!

As of January 1st...

... I am 25 years old. I don't feel any different. I've said that before, I am no better and no wiser; the only fact I can be sure of. Is 25 supposed to be a big event? I remember when I was still 17 and counting the days until New Year's Day, when I would turn 18 and I was so excited! But when it finally happened, it didn't seem so important anymore. I was 18 and I was the same and the world was the same and nothing had changed.

That was the day I decided I don't like my birthday. I stopped celebrating them (although I always welcome the presents because I am a material girl...) and I stopped getting excited. People think I am strange. I never said I wasn't. So, I made a list! (Two lists, to be accurate.)

Good things about birthdays:
- Presents (of course!)
- Getting dressed up and...
- ... having a party or...
- ... taking your friends out to celebrate
- having lived another year
- birthday cakes
- people who remember you and wish you a "happy birthday"

Bad things about birthdays:
- having lived another year (barely making it through)
- people who you haven't talked to in ages, suddenly remember you and wish you a "happy birthday"
- people who insist that you have to celebrate even if you don't feel like it
- people who keep saying that you are now older but treat you like you're no more than 5
- the world, being the same
- yourself, being the same
- getting older (I don't care about that really but it should be on the list)
- looking older (the previous comment applies here)
- presents you don't like (it's the thought that counts but still...)
- awful or ridiculous birthday cakes


Maybe both my lists could be longer but I don't want people to think I'm far more strange than I actually am, mainly because the second list would be the one getting longer.

Having said that, my birthday this year was comfortable enough, despite the fact that I would rather have stayed in bed and done nothing and talked to no one. But I am a year older and I keep wondering about life: Is that all? Meh... :)


Happy New Year!